The Green Drink
by dbzhardcore
Summary: What happens if Pyrrha drank Ren's drink? Hilarity. That's what happens.
**A/N: Just a crazy thought that came to my head on the 7** **th** **of March and had to write it down before I forget. This is all zany and whatnot so don't take it all too seriously or what happened canon wise. Just wanted a funny what if with Pyrrha drinking Ren's drink and that's that. Hope you all enjoy!**

The Green Drink

"Here. This blend of herbs and vegetables is filled with nutrients vital to your body's well-being." Ren stated as he handed the drink to Pyrrha. The red haired girl sheepishly took the glass and gave a weird look at the concoction in front of her.

"Are you sure that this is safe to drink?" Pyrrha asked.

"I'm sure." Ren replied. "It also contains algae that helps out on hypertension, acute stress, diabetes, and pregnancy."

"WHAT!?" Pyrrha said. Her face started to turn red as she started to think indecent stuff.

"Relax, relax Pyrrha, it was only a joke. So if you please drink it it'll help you out and you never know. You could like it." Ren stated as he gave a look of confidence to her as she took a sip of the drink.

Her face instantly turned green as she forced herself to swallow the substance. She formed a fake smile as she rubbed her stomach.

"Man oh man that sure was something Ren…you can um take it back now." Pyrrha said as she reached out the cup to Ren.

"No no that's all good Pyrrha, you should finish all of it for your upcoming battle." Ren replied as he denied the drink and pushed it back to Pyrrha.

"But I-"

"Here I'll help." Ren said as he pushed the cup's entrance into Pyrrha's lips.

"Hmmmfgh!"

Pyrrha's eyes went wide open as the rest of the drink went into her body. Small tears formed as the taste was unbelievably bad. After Ren took out the cup, Pyrrha gave a small cough and wheezed a bit before panting.

"T-Thank goodness that's over with…" Pyrrha said to herself as she made a mental note to never drink that thing ever again.

"Ummm…" Came the words from Jaune as he finally decided to speak up. "How about we all get some fresh air?"

Pyrrha's now sitting outside the dining hall as her head is hung down. If one would look at her, it would look like she would be lost in thought but that is not the case. What's going on in Pyrrha's mind at the moment is her head hurting from drinking the green substance.

She felt like laying down and falling asleep as a voice suddenly got her attention. She slowly lifted her head up to see who it was as the figure revealed to be Jaune. He then sat down by her.

"Here." Jaune said as he handed her the large cotton candy. "I-It's no green goop, but I think it still might do some good."

"Oh um thanks." Pyrrha muttered as she looked at the pink fluff in front of her. The smell of sugar was intoxicating as it made her instantly want to barf. She held back that action as she quickly handed it back to Jaune. "Sorry but I'm not hungry."

"You sure? Well alright then." Jaune took back the candy as he took a big bite out of it. Half of it was gone now as he put it in front of her face again. "You sure you don't want any? Um just ignore the germs and all that…"

Pyrrha looked at the half eaten thing now as a bit of Jaune's saliva seemed to be stuck on it. Even though her eyes were filled a bit with lust since she thought of an indirect kiss, she gave a nod confirming her decision not to have any.

"Suit yourself then." Jaune replied as he finished the rest of it as he threw the cone far away from him. A crow squawking could be heard from that same direction from where the cone landed.

Pyrrha could feel her headache increasing now as tiny sounds of panting came out of her mouth.

"Ummmm Pyrrha, are you alright?"

Jaune kept looking at his red head friend as he placed a hand on hers. Pyrrha's eyes went wide from the touch as she looked at him.

"If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."

As soon as Jaune finished, Pyrrha let her head rest down on Jaune's shoulder.

"You're already helping me Jaune."

Jaune's face went a bit of red from the response. The temptation to pat Pyrrha's head was coursing in his veins. Just one little pat would do. As much as he wanted to however, he pulled back figuring that Pyrrha wouldn't like it or hate him for it.

A bit of time has passed as Pyrrha finally lifted up her head.

"Jaune do you have a minute?"

"Oh sure Pyrrha, what is it?"

Biting her lip a bit, Pyrrha finally spoke up.

"Jaune, do you believe in-"

 ***Burp***

A tiny burp noise came out of Pyrrha's mouth as she quickly closed it with her hands. Bubbling sounds was starting to happen inside her stomach as she stepped back to ask the same question again.

"Jaune, do you-"

 ***Burp***

A bit more ticked off now was Pyrrha as she waited for the burp to stop before asking again.

"Jaune, do-"

 ***Burp***

"…"

Pyrrha waited and waited now for her bubbling stomach to stop. Time was passing more and more now as Jaune stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. As soon as it seemed to stop, Pyrrha gave a smile before continuing.

"Jaune-"

 ***Burp***

" **OH FOR THE LOVE OF!"** Pyrrha cried out in anger as she got up and raised a hand. This caused Jaune to be launched to the column that was behind him.

"Oof."

"Jaune! I-I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to-oh…my head…I need some medicine…"

Pyrrha turned around as she started to stumble away from Jaune.

"Pyrrha wait!" Jaune cried out as Pyrrha started to leave his sight.

Pyrrha started to stumble more and more as she finally leaned over on a tree.

"Hah…hah…hah…when I see Ren again…I'm going to get him for this drink! Ughhh…I feel like I'm going to throw up…"

Pyrrha kept on panting more and more as her head was unbelievably hot now. As she was continuing to pant, a sudden loud noise could be heard.

" **PYRRHA! I FOUND YOU!** " Came from the mouth of Nora as she ran over to where Pyrrha was.

"Nora…how'd you find me?"

Nora pointed at her nose.

"Just leave it to my nose! I'll always track down a scent! Enough of the questions for now, you have a fight to go to!"

"Wait Nora let me-Ahhhh!" Cried out Pyrrha as she was dragged along to where the final fights were being held.

Pyrrha was now at the stadium as her fight against Penny was now happening. She clutched her head as the headache was getting worse.

"Ooooh I don't feel so good. ***Burp*** Yup definitely not good."

Pyrrha exclaimed as she could feel her face going green.

"Sal-u-tations, Pyrrha Nikos! It's an honor to finally meet you." Said Penny.

"Oh um salad to you too…" Pyrrha muttered as she looked at her hands which now seemed to doubled. "That's not good…"

"This is going to be so much fun!" Penny continued on, not noticing that Pyrrha wasn't paying attention.

"3,2,1… **BEGIN!** " Came the voice of Oobleck from the speakers as the match has finally begun.

Penny started out the attack as she threw all her swords at Pyrrha.

"Ooh…my head…" Pyrrha muttered as she started to stumble, managing to dodge the blades at the same time.

"Impressive! You aren't the famous Miss Nikos for nothing! How about this!" Penny said as she brought back her swords as she rushed forward for an assault.

Pyrrha's deluded eyes looked back at Penny as she saw the orange hair girl rushing towards her. A small burp came out of her mouth as she readied the javelin in her hands.

"Ok…ok…calm down Pyrrha…just do what you normally do and everything will be ***burp*** fine…"

She looked down on her weapons as they seemed to bend.

"Oh no…no, no no…"

"Hey guys…" Jaune said as he turned to Ren and Nora. "Do you think Pyrrha's fine?"

"What do you mean Jaune!?" Nora replied. "Look at her! She's totally fine!"

Jaune turned back to the fight to see Pyrrha zoning out as Penny launched an attack that sent the red head flying back.

"Yeah…I don't think she's fine at all…"

"Ooohhh… ***burp*** I-I don't feel s-so good…" Pyrrha muttered as she stumbled back on her feet. A little bit of back up came out of her mouth and onto the ground as Pyrrha looked at it. It was a nasty green goop as she started to clench her stomach and grit her teeth before yelling out, **"REN! JUST WHAT WAS IT THAT WAS IN YOUR DRINK!?"**

With this, Ren stood up and made an intellectual pose.

"You see Pyrrha, the drink had herbs, vegetables, and algae which is good for hypertension, acute stress, diabetes, and pregnan-"

" **ALRIGHT! THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW!"** Pyrrha yelled as she looked back at Penny.

What Pyrrha didn't realize until it was too late was that she wasn't holding onto her weapon and shield anymore as they far out of her reach.

"What the!? When did that-" Pyrrha cut herself out as she thought back to what happened. The monitors on the stadium showed what transpired as Penny knocked them away with her swords while Pyrrha was bantering at Ren. Pyrrha facepalmed herself.

"You have got to be kidding me…"

"Time to end this now Pyrrha Nikos!" Penny said as she raised her eight blades behind her.

At first Pyrrha saw the blades doubled, then tripled, then quadrupled and so on before she saw in front of her hundreds of blades...and ten Penny's for some reason. She took a mental note again to get medicine as soon as she could and to get Ren for all of this.

Meanwhile, Emerald had a confused look on her face as she saw a different type of confusion on Pyrrha than how she would react from her powers.

"I don't think my illusionary powers are working on her…"

The look of confusion and fear on Pyrrha's face quickly disappeared as the stinging headache came back.

"Ooh…not now…" Pyrrha raised a hand to her forehead as she tried to calm down.

Penny was now ready to strike as Pyrrha started to stumble again. This made the robot girl halt her attack as she didn't know what her foe was going to do next.

Pyrrha stumbled a bit as her face was full of sickness.

"Ooh…that's… **ENOUGH!** " Pyrrha cried out as she made a heavy step in the ground and pushed her arms in front of herself.

Immediately as soon as she died that, the blades that were attached to Penny went behind the girl now as the wires lacerated her into quarters.

"Pennies…I mean Penny!" Pyrrha cried out as she looked at the pieces on the ground.

"If you're alright…say something!"

"I'm A-Okay!" Said Penny in Pyrrha's mind as she gave a sigh of relief. Her eyes then went into a daze as she started to zone out.

"Huh? Where am I?" Pyrrha asked as she realized she was in a different place. With her was Jaune and Ozpin as they walked through a long corridor.

"We're back to where Amber is Miss Nikos." Ozpin replied.

Pyrrha noticed that she was holding onto Jaune's hand as a small bush came on her face. Jaune was helping Pyrrha walk the whole time while she was stuck in her daze. The three of them came up to where Amber was as Ozpin opened up the empty pod.

"If you please Miss Nikos. There's no time to waste."

Pyrrha looked at the pod which suddenly transformed into a bed for her.

"Ooh a bed!" Pyrrha exclaimed as she quickly stumbled over to the pod and lied down in it. Ozpin nodded and closed the hatch as he started the process.

"Jaune, make sure you keep watch." Ozpin stated.

Jaune nodded and turned back to where the entrance was. Pyrrha started to close her eyes and started to dream. At first it was sweet. Her and Jaune were out on a picnic, watching a movie together, killing grimm left and right and finally at the end of the day, she gave a big kiss to…a green drink?

" **AAH!** " Pyrrha yelled inside the pod as Jaune turned back to look what was going on with his friend.

"Pyrrha!" Jaune cried out as Ozpin stopped the blonde boy from getting closer.

"Stop Mister Arc! This is a very delicate process. You'll just have to let her be for now." Ozpin pushed back up his glasses, knowing fully well that Pyrrha was going to be in pain from the start.

But it wasn't pain from the transferring of Amber's power for Pyrrha, it was the pain of all the green drinks surrounding her. Yells of no could be heard from her as the green drink kept on pressing closer and closer to Pyrrha. One of them was about to enter her mouth as they all of a sudden, disappeared. What made this stop was the pierce to the heart from Cinder's arrow.

"Huh?" Pyrrha asked as she slowly opened her eyes as she busted open the pod with her semblance.

She gave a yawn and a stretch as she looked at Cinder. The figure of Cinder transformed to someone familiar in Pyrrha's eyes.

"Just…five more minutes mommy…" Pyrrha said with a yawn.

" **WHAT!? I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!** " Cinder cried out, flabbergasted.

Ozpin went in front of Jaune and Pyrrha as he readied his cane.

"You two, get out of here now! Find Glynda! Ironwood! Qrow! Bring them here right away! The tower cannot fall!"

Ozpin watched as Jaune helped Pyrrha up and took her hand as they started to run away.

The two of them are now outside as Jaune started to scramble trying to find Glynda's number.

"Oh where is it!? I know it's around here somewhere!"

He kept on scrolling through the list of names as he turned back to Pyrrha.

"Pyrrha? What was all that?"

Pyrrha, who was in a daze again, broke out of it as she heard Jaune's question.

"Oh umm….I-"

Her explanation was cut off as an explosion from where Ozpin and Cinder were fighting as Cinder is seen flying up the elevator shaft.

"But…Ozpin…" Jaune said in disbelief as Pyrrha started to stumble back at the entrance.

"There's no time." Pyrrha said as he looked back at Jaune. "Go. Get to Vale and call for help."

"Huh? What are you gonna do?"

Pyrrha slowly turned her head to look up at the top of Beacon Tower. Seeing what she's looking at, Jaune puts together the pieces as the look of fear is on his face.

"No…no, Pyrrha, you can't. You saw how powerful she is! Pyrrha, I won't let you do-"

Before he could finish, Pyrrha grabs Jaune's head with both hands as she places a kiss on his lips. This kiss was tender and sincere as the two stare at each other afterwards. She then placed a hand on his cheek while the other on his chest.

"I'm sorry…" Pyrrha sadly said as she used her semblance to push Jaune into an open locker. The door shuts from impact as Jaune starts to bang on it.

"Hey! Wait! Stop, stop! Pyrrha, please don't do this!"

His pleading was to no avail however as Pyrrha typed in the coordinates. Before he left, she gave him one last look in the eyes as the locker flew away. Pyrrha stumbled into the open elevator shaft as she closed her eyes and concentrated. Bubbling sounds could be heard from her stomach as she started to lift the elevator up to where Cinder awaits.

"Shhh…this is your home now." Cinder said to the dragon outside as it gave a screech in response.

Cinder then looked at her newfound powers as she easily made a fireball in one of her palms. The loud sound of sparks quickly got her attention as she looked at the location of the elevator. The screeching sound came to a halt as the door opened up. What came out wasn't a spear at which Cinder easily dodged, but a stumbling Pyrrha as she made her way out of the elevator doors.

"Oohhh…" Pyrrha muttered as she looked at Cinder and pointed her spear at her foe. "I will stop you once and for all * **burp** * ohhh…" Pyrhha muttered as she clenched her stomach.

Cinder didn't waste time however as she smirked and quickly fired a fireball at Pyrrha. Pyrrha was able to dodge in time as she stumbled over to Cinder with a swipe of her spear. Cinder easily dodged it as she fired more fireballs at the red head. Pyrrha raised her shield to defend herself as the force made her fall back a bit. That was all that Cinder needed as she fired an arrow at Pyrrha.

Pyrrha threw her shield back at Cinder as the arrow went through the shield and struck Pyrrha at her ankle. This made her cry out in pain as she fell down on both knees. She tried to get back up but the stomach acids were eating at her more as Pyrrha clenched her stomach in pain.

"It's unfortunate you were promised a power that was never truly yours." Cinder said as she kneels down and lifts Pyrrha's chin. She then stared into her eyes and smiled, not noticing that Pyrrha's face was starting to burp constantly.

"But take comfort in knowing that I will use it in ways you could never have imagined."

Pyrrha looked back at Cinder as one question was still in her mind. The stomach acids were getting harder to control now as it started to creep up on Pyrrha.

"Do you believe in- **BLEGH** " Was all that Pyrrha could say before she started to upchuck.

Cinder couldn't react in time as the barf hit her in the face.

" **OH GOD WHAT IS THIS-AHHH! SOME OF IT WENT IN MY MOUTH!** "

Cinder took a step back as she was now starting to throw up as well.

"Oh God! W-What is this!?" Cinder asked as she and Pyrrha couldn't stop throwing up.

Just then, Pyrrha's scroll went off as Ren was on the other side as he started to speak.

"That there is a drink that I made which is made up of herbs, vegetables, and algae. It's good for-" Was all that could be heard from Ren as the rest was drowned out from the repetitive barfing.

"I-I'm going to get you for this… ***barfs*** …P-Pyrrha Nikos!" Cinder said as the two barfing finally died down.

She then raised her hand to fire another fireball at Pyrrha as suddenly a dragon's cry could be heard.

"What the!?" Cinder turned around to see what was going on as the Dragon was seen at a distance away, charging at the tower.

The dragon reacted to Cinder's crying, thinking that she was in danger as he was ready to rescue her.

"I…am…going…to…get Ren…for this…" Pyrrha muttered to herself as she was back up on her feet.

Her head was feeling heavy now as she stumbled and took a step forward. This made Pyrrha slip on the combined barfs of the two as she started to slide…right into Cinder.

" **AAAHHHH!** " Pyrrha cried out as she couldn't control herself.

"What's that sound?" Cinder asked as she turned around to see only for her to get pushed by Pyrrha.

" **AAAHHHH!** " Cinder cried out as she was now falling…into the dragon's mouth. The dragon was right at the tower, destroying the windows and upper half as Cinder fell into his mouth. A squawk could be heard from her as he started to choke.

What happened next was that Cinder's fire powers from Amber started to go off in self-defense as the dragon was starting to roast. The dragon cried out in pain as it started to nosedive into the ground. The result was a massive explosion that annihilated Cinder and the dragon on the spot.

Meanwhile, Salem was looking on as to what was happening as she threw her arms in the air.

"That's it! I give up."

Back at Beacon Tower, Pyrrha was starting to lose consciousness as she could see a red blur coming close to her.

"So…this is what death is like…" Pyrrha thought as she fainted.

Pyrrha found herself waking up in a hospital bed as she saw a sleeping Jaune right by her. She blushed, seeing his sleeping face as she didn't know whether to wake him up or not.

"Umm Jau-"

" **OH MY GOODNESS! PYRRHA'S AWAKE! REN! PYRRHA'S AWAKE!** " Cried out Nora as her and Ren quickly came inside.

"Huh?" Jaune muttered as he yawned, stretched, and opened his eyes. "What's the commotion about…" He looked at Pyrrha who was staring back at him. His eyes went wide.

" **PYRRHA! YOU'RE AWAKE!** " Jaune quickly hugged Pyrrha as tears formed in his eyes. He finally noticed what was going on as he let go, the both of them having blushes on their faces.

"W-What happened?" Pyrrha asked as she was confused as to what was going on. Nora decided to answer that.

"Well…Ruby saw you lying down on the ground and quickly took you to this here hospital as fast as she could! I'm so happy you're awake Pyrrha! You were asleep for a week! Jaune never left your side!"

Pyrrha and Jaune blushed again as Jaune started to rub the back of his head. Pyrrha's blush went away as she remembered what happened before she fainted.

"Wait! What about Cinder!? Is she still…" She clenched her bedsheets as she looked down.

A blush came back on her face as Jaune patted her head.

"There, there. It's all good." He said. "You defeated, no, you killed Cinder, Pyrrha!"

"I did!?"

"Yup! Ruby saw everything that transpired with Cinder falling into the dragon's mouth and the both of them perishing! Afterwards, Emerald, Mercury, and all of White Fang surrendered! You really did it Pyrrha! You really…did it…" Jaune cut himself off as he started to cry into his arm. "I-I never thought that I would see you again Pyrrha…I'm glad you're alright."

The rest of team JNPR started to tear up as well as they all started to cry. A few minutes passed as they were finally able to calm down as Ren decided to speak up.

"See. This all happened because of the drink I gave to Pyrrha. Who knows what could have transpired if you didn't drink it-"

Ren was cut off from a flying spear that went by his head. A small sweat formed on him as a menacing look came on Pyrrha.

"Drink…drink…. **DRINK!** " Pyrrha's eyes were filled with death now as she crept closer and closer to Ren.

" **IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR STUPID GREEN DRINK, I WOULDN'T KEPT FEELING LIKE SHIT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DAY! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS REN!** "

Pyrrha leapt at Ren as she started to chase him throughout the room. Nora and Juane looked on as the two started to laugh as they all lived on happily ever after.


End file.
